Listen

This is from a section of my September 2024 book. "Listen" is a poetic essay discussing the evolution of caring and humility.

Listen, Learn, Live, and Shop Alone: Thoughts from Living on a Budget.

If ever the time comes when I can assume there's no price tag too large for my budget, then I've done something ethically wrong. Being so complacent and arrogant with my finances should provide humility to find avenues to support my community. If I have enough and don't realize that I'm spending beyond those abundant means, it's time to step back and look at my life through different eyes. 

If ever the time comes that I am privileged to the point that I stop learning how to be kind and humble to others in my area, then I've lost sight of the importance of life. How far have I come to forget about the days when I had to decide on food for the night or gas in the car for the week?  How far have I allowed myself to stop learning the value of sharing with others who are in need?  If I cannot think twice about purchasing a garment just because I'm bored and need a diversion in my day, then I've not learned the value of life. 

If ever the time comes when I'm able to obtain whatever my cravings desire, then I've stepped out-of-bounds to an inconsistent path devoid of human interest. What has overcome my eyes, my thoughts, and my actions to the extent that I would rather pamper my temporary whims than lend an ear to hear a voice of concern for those who can benefit from any matter of support?  How deep has my pride and ego plunged? To be silent, to turn away from the realities of poverty, to deny goodwill, how far have I come – or fallen? 

If ever the time comes that I shelter my ears from listening to a heartbeat of humility, then I have arrived at a point of disservice to my brothers and sisters. If I cover my eyes, the world still turns. If I walk on the opposite side of the street so as not to be bothered, those who cannot walk are still present.  If I venture to places, I never knew so as not to be bothered by tragedy, the tragedy itself will still be present. Trauma, burdens, hardships, and broken spirits; I cannot outrun these realities.  If I'm ever in a place where buying a simple loaf of bread is a non-sequitur, then I should buy that loaf of bread, but not for my soul.

If ever the time comes that I am not limited to reviewing my bank account before I go shopping, then I should go shopping. I should take it upon myself to go steadfast to the market. I should enjoy lifting items off the shelves and watching the shopping cart elevate. I should shop without restriction. I should freely abound in the joy of gathering without an ounce of distress.

If ever the time comes that I can indulge in such a shopping adventure, I should find those who need those items. I should unpack the pregnant shopping cart for those in need. I should help break the bondage one may be facing, even if it's only for a moment. I should express the gathered goods for the good of the gathered, the needy, the one who is not looking for a hand-out but a friendly hand-up.

If ever the time comes that I can share, without concern for myself, then I will remember the person who is thankful for a simple grocery item. That was once me. There was no one at those multiple times to share anything in my moments of panic. That was once me. I will do what I can to not let that be someone else.

If I can help share a simple act, then there will be a different story.  The one whom I serve will have the opportunity to share their story with another who may benefit from the story being told. 

If I ever.

Alan Lechusza

September 2024

Alan Lechusza, author/writer